Mere Christianity -- Book 3, Chap. 7

Forgiveness

Though Lewis previously stated that "chastity" is the most unpopular of Christian virtues, now that he thinks about it, there may in fact be an even more unpopular Christian virtue:  forgiving your enemy.  Jesus commands that we are to love our neighbor, including our enemies, as we love ourselves.

Now, theoretically, and abstractly, we all think "forgiveness of one's enemy" is a lovely idea.  That is, until we have to forgive another who has wronged us personally.

Lewis gives the vivid example of the Nazis during WW II.  His angry critics suggest that Lewis can talk about forgiveness because he is not Polish or a Jew having to forgive Hitler?

But Lewis is not describing what "he" personally would do if he were in such a situation.  Rather, he is only describing what Christianity is.  And he didn't invent it.  It's what it is.  And Jesus clearly teaches us to pray, "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us."

There is no way around it, "if we don't forgive others, we shall not be forgiven" or "if you have been forgiven, then you will forgive others."

So then how are we going to do it?  How could we forgive someone like the Nazis?  Lewis mentions two places to begin:

1.  First, if we really want to practice forgiveness (and we have to want to do it) start with something a bit easier, like forgiving your spouse, your parents, your children, etc.  That alone will keep you busy for awhile.

2.  Second, we need to be clearer on what it means to "love your neighbor as yourself."  Begin with, "How exactly do 'I' love myself?"

When you think about it, we don't necessarily feel "fondness" or "affection" for ourselves and we do not often enjoy our own fellowship.  If we were honest with ourselves, we would have to admit that we are not very nice either.

So, to "love your neighbor as yourself" doesn't mean that we are to feel "fondness" or "attracted" to him or even to think he is "nice."  Besides that, you cannot feel "fond" or "attracted" to someone or even to think that he is "nice" by merely trying to.

To forgive your enemies does not mean that we should deny the evil done or to think that they are really not that bad, when we know they are. 

Further, if we were really honest, we would have to admit that not only are we not nice people, we are really very nasty so that we can look at some of the things we have said or done with horror and loathing.

Therefore, we could equally say that we should hate and loathe some of the things our enemies do.  In fact, we are told to hate the sin but not the sinner.  What do you think about that statement?

Most think that is just a silly, straw-splitting distinction.  Why?  If we thought about it, we all have to admit that we do this all the time.  We all know one man that we always have hated what he has done without hating the man:  Yourself!

There was on man to whom I had been doing this all my life -- namely myself.

And no matter how much I loathe my own actions I have never ceased from loving myself.  We never have any qualms about it.  In fact, it is because I love myself so much that I hate the things that I could really do.

Therefore, we must be clear on this:  we should always hate cruelty and treachery.  But we should hate those things in the same way that we hate things in ourselves. 

Being sorry that the man should have done such things, and hoping, if it is anyway possible, that somehow, sometime, somewhere he can be cured and made human again.

Let's apply a test!  Suppose you hear something terrible someone has done.  Then latter you hear that it really wasn't that bad after all.  How do you respond?

Are you grateful that it turned out that he really wasn't that bad after all, or;

Do you feel disappointed or even determined to hold on to the first story for the sheer pleasure of thinking that your enemy is as bad as possible?

If we truly feel the second then we are a lot worse than we think.  And if we continue down this path, it won't be long until we feel hatred about everything in life. 

You see, one is beginning to wish that black was little blacker.  If we give that wish its head, later on we shall wish to see grey as black, and then to see white itself as black.  Finally, we shall insist on seeing everything -- God and our friends and ourselves included -- as bad, and not be able to stop doing it:  we shall be fixed for ever in a universe of pure hatred.

Does loving your enemy mean not punishing him? 

No, for loving myself does not mean that I ought not to subject myself to punishment -- even to death. If you had committed murder, the right Christian thing to do would be to give yourself up to the police and be hanged.  It is, therefore, in my opinion, perfectly right for a Christian judge to sentence a man to death or a Christian soldier to kill an enemy. 

When Jesus says that we are not to "kill" he is referring clearly to "murder." 

All killing is not murder any more than all sexual intercourse is adultery.

We should relish one of the great Christian ideas of the knight -- a Christian in arms for the defense of a good cause. 

While Lewis has great respect for an honest pacifist, even though he is entirely mistaken, Lewis has no patience for a semi-pacifism, someone who believes you should fight but you should be ashamed of it.  This robs a lot of Christian soldiers from the boldness that accompanies courage in knowing that what they are doing it right.  Rather, the Christian soldier should feel the satisfaction of doing his job well.

But someone hearing this might object that if Lewis is right, then how does this make Christian morality different from the rest of the world?

Lewis answers, "It makes all the difference in the world."  Why?

Because we once again are more interested in the inner character of a man's heart than simply the acts he performs.  What is the heart of the man in fulfilling his duty?

We may kill if necessary, but we must not hate and enjoy hating.  We may punish if necessary, but we must not enjoy it.  In other words, something inside us, the feeling of resentment, the feeling that wants to get one's own back, must be simply killed. 

I do not mean that anyone can decide this moment that he will not feel it any more.  That is not how things happen.  I mean that every time it bobs its head up, day after day, year after year, all our lives long, we must hit it on the head.  It is hard work, but the attempt is not impossible.

This is what makes Christianity so different.  While we do not deny justice, we do not take pleasure in meeting justice any more than we enjoy it in our case.  Once again, we realize that we are all in the same boat and there but by the grace of God, go I.  How can we take pleasure in the punishment of an evil doer when we know we equally deserve such punishment for our own evil?   

Even while we kill and punish we must try to feel about the enemy as we feel about ourselves -- to wish that he were not bad, to hope that he may, in this world or another, be cured:  in fact, to wish his good.  That is what is meant in the Bible by loving him:  wishing his good, not feeling fond of him nor saying he is nice when he is not.

I admit that this means loving people who have nothing lovable about them.  But then, has oneself anything lovable about it?  You love it simply because it is yourself.

This is how God wants us to love everyone, including our enemies.  And he has already shown us how to love within ourselves (remember how unlovely we are) so that we can no go out and love as He loves us.  And there is nothing in us that is lovable -- "creatures like us who actually find hatred such a pleasure that to give it up is like giving up beer or tobacco . . . "